Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Musical Merry Go Round

Saturday, with much trepidation and after a couple of aborted attempts at trying to explain what classical music was to my kids (especially to a reluctant boy child), I piled the kids into the car and drove down to Fontainebleau Castle.

My cousin, a musician, was in town... "touring" as it were... and had invited us to a concert that the string quartet (The Cecilia String Quartet) she belongs to was giving.

"Maman?" Brenna asked me, "What does your cousin look like?"

"Beats me. It's been over twenty years...."

Brenna's eyes popped.

We arrived in the nick of time. I'd never been to Fontainbleau but was instantly impressed. My cousin is playing here? Wow.


"Maman? Are you sure we're in the right place?" Kilian asked.

Oh ye, of little faith.

But my confidence started to slip too when the lady at the ticket desk refused to understand that the name I was giving to her was that of my cousin. And when I finally got through to her, she had the gaul to tell me that I had pronounced my cousin's name, and thus my maiden name, wrong.

...

She suffered a mild curse. I'm sure the swelling will go down soon.

...

We wandered into the Chapel and were accosted by this:

La classe!

Kilian started to look nervous. As though he had just realised that there was no way in hell that his mother could possibly be related to someone who was classy enough to play music in such a hallowed little space. Kid may be on to something...

The little chapel filled up and though it was cool enough in the chapel to see one's breath, my children had the good grace to speak in hushed tones and curb their normally inherent fits of throwing shoes at each other to keep their respective blood warm.

Soon enough, the string quartet filed into the room.

Brenna leaned towards me and whispered, "Do you recognise your cousin?"



Yup. Sure did. She'd be a hard one to miss.

The concert was splendid and I am pleased to announce that Brenna wrangled herself an excellent seat. On the floor. In the aisle. God, I wish I was still a kid.

Throughout the concert I watched her, her mouth hanging open as the musicians wrung passion out of their instruments. And Kilian? He didn't fidget once. Not even through the grinding piece of music by Canadian composer R. Murray Schafer.

Well... actually.... He did scratch his nose a couple of times right when he shouldn't have (when the instruments were hanging over a silence between notes, thus rubbing parts of his gortex jacket together and disturbing the entire freaking room. I swear. Everyone looked at us!).

Kids.

I was just pleased that they kept their shit together despite sitting next to each other. Whew. And their chatter about the concert afterwards was lovely. And when I say chatter, I mean this:

"So Kilian, what did you think?"

Shrug, "It was good."

"And Brenna?"

"Your cousin is beautiful."

"What about the music?"

"C'était bien."

Which, in jaded kid's speak, means that it was the height of awesome. I can tell. Got a decryptor.

The next day, I met up with my cousin and one of her partners in crime (ie, the one to the right of my cousin - who I think is the group's kook. Seriousness' foil and the one that takes the tension off because after seeing them play, you just have to imagine that Hiroshima wouldn't be far on a bad day...)

We wandered across the plaza in front of Hôtel de Ville and, honest to god, they stumbled upon someone they knew. A Musicologist (Professor) who was participating in a peaceful demonstration (La Ronde des obstinés - The Stubborn Circle) protesting government university reforms. They talked music for a little while as I struggled to figure out what the diff was between music speak and math speak (honestly they sound the same), when the Music professor invited us to take a spin on the demonstration. We could talk while walking.

Now I must admit that I know nothing about what all these reforms are about. Regular media doesn't go into it much except to talk about disgruntlement, which serves to make the cause look whiny and nothing more.

However, the hooplah has been going on for over 8 weeks. So perhaps it wouldn't be remiss of me to dig a bit deeper... Especially since my cousin photographed me actually demonstrating.

How about that? After 12 years in France, that was my first bit of demonstrating! The weird thing is that after my three loops around the Ronde des obstinés, I sort of felt dizzy. But also spiritually clean.

No wonder the French are addicted to strikes!



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Monday, March 30, 2009

New Work Monday #9

Today, we have here a blue mess:


Rain Rain Go Away
Oil on canvas
50cm x 60cm x 2cm


This is what happens when I shut myself up in a room with a canvas, blue and white paint, a palette knife and Nine Inch Nails' "Pretty Hate Machine". Nuff said.

A detail:



I cannot describe the gooiness of painting with a palette knife. You've just got to try it yourself...



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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Desperately Seeking Commissions

I have added something new in the sidebar. I am shamelessly advertising myself as a portrait artist. As if anyone can afford portraits at the moment. There is job scything going on all over the world and I, in my frilly silly way, am convinced that I can sell non-essentials like portraits.

But a girl's gotta start somewhere. Right?

And children! I can paint children! Honest!

I wear far too many hats I think. Between illustrating kooky little drawings, painting strange spirally abstract things that shine (which appeal to the magpie in me) and now this idea of portraiture, I can't help but wonder if I'm giving off a pheremone of desperation?

Bueller?



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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Almost Ten Going on Twenty

My son will be ten in 10 days.

Fuck. I feel tired.

Ten years old. Where did all the time go? It zoomed by in an endless swooping haze of too fast. Too tall. Too big.

As I walked Brenna and Kilian to school this morning, I watched his loping gait. His stick legs poking out of jeans that are too short. His ridiculous white socks peeking conspicuously over his huge ungainly feet (socks that I suspect he's been wearing for three days already though he claims that this is not the case. However, I've seen the undersides...).

When did my 51cm baby turn into a monster with size 39 feet?

I think it was overnight.

I heard gremlins.

My baby.

Sigh.

Last night, Mr C picked me up at the train station to whisk me off to the local DIY so that we could pick tiles for the bathroom. I mentioned at one point that we should hurry so that we could pick Kilian up from his English class.

"Nah. No worries. He's got his bike and he knows where I hid the housekey."

My brain freaked the fuck out. I felt the pop of apoplexy. "WTF? Wait a minute. How did he get to English class?"

"I drove behind him as he biked there."

"You're seriously OK with him biking home in the dark?"

"... Oh.... Right. I forgot about the dark bit..."

...

We just missed him. We caught up to Kilian right before he crossed the first intersection. We followed behind his wiggling backside as he crossed the bridge at the train station. Watching him, my eyes riveted, my heart jockeyed for space in my throat. I thought that my brain would implode and leave my eyes shallow glass marbles. Empty. Except for those damn tears.

I can imagine how he must have gloried in his freedom. Privately. When glimpsing his face though, you might not have guessed it; he looked so stoic at this new responsibility of arriving home safely on his own. Not just for himself.

But for me. For me, the mother, who worried about what could happen.

My baby. That little boy who still cuddles up to me on the couch. Who will instantly come and give me a hug if he senses that I'm feeling down.

I asked him what it was like, to bike home all by himself for the first time. He shrugged. "It was nothing special."

Oh yes it was.

To me.



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Monday, March 23, 2009

New Work Monday #8

Forgive me internets, for I have sinned: Today's New Work is technically not "new".

This week's "New Work" was done about two years ago when I was still fiddling around with oils.



Miffed Magpie
Oil on canvas
approx. 40cm x 50cm x 2cm



This little fellow is based on an image in a nature magazine that I found particularly arresting though no, the bird in the photo was not orange. Promise.

I was fiddling around with a technique that I'd stumbled upon. First you start with a blackened canvas. Then with chalk, you mark out your drawing. Once your image is decided upon, you glaze by "dry" scrubbing colour (that has been mixed with a fast drying gook (because you have to wait until a layer is dry before applying others)) over the surface. The idea is to let the black and the other colours remain visible under following surface colours.

This is a lovely technique for destroying paint brushes. You are warned. Other useful scrubbing tools are old t-shirts, paper towels. The works.

Once I got the colouring that I wanted, I painted the heavy black lines in to give it a sort of comic book feel.

Then I waited two months before varnishing. The oils on the surface probably didn't need me to wait that long before varnishing (each of the glazes were really thin), but when you think that it takes some oil paintings a year to dry, I thought better safe than sorry.

What really surprised me about this technique was that starting a painting with a black canvas really made the colours pop. And bonus, since a painter feels that same WTF when contemplating a white canvas as a writer when contemplating a blank page, a black canvas staves off this fear.

Imagine how pleased I was when I learned that de Vinci blackened his canvases too.



"You talking to me, punk?"



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Monday, March 16, 2009

New Work Monday #7



The Mermaid's Dilemma
Watercolour on Paper
18cm x 26cm


I was planning on posting something else today. And then it occurred to me. Mr C took the camera to Morocco! So I needed a scannable solution. Stat!

This little image had been languishing in my sketchbook for the last year or so. I always planned to paint it, but just never got around to it (ie. lazy).

That's all very well, you may be asking yourself, but What does this image mean?

Honestly, I have no idea. A mermaid with a frayed fishing line and a ball of flame? That sure looks like a half-baked idea to me.

Whatever the case, I gotta wonder what her story is?

Ideas?



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Friday, March 13, 2009

Friday the 13th

Also?

10th wedding anniversary. Last year I spoke of Leather, Year 9's "Modern" anniversary gift.

This year? Apparently I'm allowed to give Mr C Tin (Traditional) or Aluminum (Modern).

WTF?

Am stumped. Truly. Ideas?

However, since Dude is in a plane for Marrakech, Morocco for the weekend, I've bought myself some extra time. BTW: He claims that I'm not allowed to be miffed in the slightest about this trip falling on such a historic anniversary after such a bloody sucky marriage year last year (truly is miracle we are still talking to each other). Also? I shouldn't be jealous or call a "You did this, so I can do that" thing (completely sans enfants) since he's going for work.

Whatever. MOROCCO! Also? No KIDS UNDERFOOT for the entire weekend!

Bother.

So I guess I'll be watching the Loto numbers, making grilled cheese sandwiches for supper, watching too much Lost: S3 after the kids have been sedated before finally falling into a Haagen-Daaz induced coma.

Actually, that sounds like a pretty awesome evening.

I am brutally sad.

....

Psst: Have never done the Loto thing before (thus proving my ultimate gitness). This should be fun as I go to the local tabac and try and figure out how to do this thing without looking like a complete prat (tobacconists are a very patient people in Paris. Pinky swear...) Wish me luck!



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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dubbed 6 Nations Weekend or Something

Updated with Mr Mac's blog address. Go harrass him and give him lurv so he posts more often....

So, as previously mentioned, I (with the Brenna in tow) drove to the middle of nowhere to hang out at Doc's place with Vivi, Antipo, Gabrielle, Ms Mac and all our assorted hangers-on and children (with particular apologies to Mr Mac for the ignoble fashion in which I describe his delightful presence. A suggestion? If you don't already have one, get a damn blog. You're welcome.).

We were:

2 Americans (Doc and Vivi)
2 Australians (Gabrielle and Mr Mac - Dude is very funny)
1 Scot (STELLA! OMG, I think I asked her to say "World" three times. It was awesome!)
1 New Zealandian (Antipo)
1 Canadian (Your's truly)
And an assortment of French people. We ignored them with delight. Except Ludivine! Yo!

The evening consisted of shenanigans. Many. Epic. Awesome.

Laughs and giggles. Deadly margharitas! The best freaking cheesecake I've ever eaten (OMFG!). And chicken wings. Doc! Wow! Patent your recipe!

I had brought an air mattress for Brenna and I to sleep on (because I was not going to drive the 3 hours back to Paris that same evening) and at one point I told her to blow it up. She did bless her heart. She didn't fill it to the "brim" but I thought she did such a good job that I had to ask myself who she talked into doing the dirty work for her. Hmm.

Anyway, after an absolutely hilarious evening we all toddled off to bed. Brenna was so excited to be sleeping on an air mattress. She practically jumped right into bed and fell to sleep immediately after taking my arm and cuddling it up to her face in a vice grip.

However, I was not destined to sleep the charming sleep of babes. First of all, I wasn't tired. I had had such a lovely evening that my brain was hopped up. Second of all, as I did begin to doze, I noticed that slowly, inexorably, my butt was getting closer and closer to the floor. Of course, by this time I was too inert and sleepy to actually do anything about it, so by morning, Brenna and I found ourselves lying on the floor, the air completely run out of the air mattress.

But all was good, since I saw that the plug had simply "unplugged" and that we hadn't inadvertantly ripped a hole in the thing. And bonus! No need to wrestle the air out to fold it back into the car. Score!

After a delightful breakfast, we said goodbye to the Macs who were driving back to Switzerland (BOO!) and Doc used her many connections to get us a tour of Joinville (middle of nowhere) France. Which in its day was very important. Apparently.

BTW: Doc? I asked Ludivine about the pronounciation of Guise. I don't like to say "I told you so", but in your case, because I care, I'll make an exception. Hee!

Some photos below:

Street in Joinville, France

Church in Joinville, France

Isolation

Sculpture in Joinville Church

Interior of Joinville Church

Organ in Joinville Church

And my favourite of the day because I'm hopelessly in love with the idea of Jeanne d'Arc...

Joan of Arc looking heavenward

Next weekend for me in the middle of nowhere France is looking to be in June. If all goes according to plan, I will apparently be making a fool of myself in front of others.

Yay!



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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Scritch Scratch

Mr C: "So I noticed a scratch on the front bumper of the car..."

Mrs C stares at him. Uncomprehending.

Mr C: "Brenna says that you hit the driveway gate."

Mrs C swivels her gaze to her daughter, who, all of a sudden, looks guilty. A blood vessel bursts in Mrs C's brain for she suddenly sees red.

Mrs C [teeth clenched, trying to stay calm...]: "It's true that the wind blew the gate closed right before I could make it into the driveway, so I asked Brenna to hold it open for me. I was very careful with your car when I drove it to the country to see Doc, Vivi, Gabrielle, Antipo and Ms Mac, with whom I had an absolutely lovely time, thank you for asking. I promise you that we did not play at bumper cars."

Mr C: "That doesn't explain the scratch."

Just great. Dammit. Justifying myself? It makes me angry.

Mrs C: "Well it wasn't me that put it there. I can't believe that you believe our daughter, who has a history of telling untruths for who-knows-what reason, instead of me, WHO TELLS YOU THE BRUTAL TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING, EVEN THE STATE OF YOUR NOSE HAIRS."

Mrs C then spent the rest of the evening clomping around.

_______________________


I can't even describe how angry I was at my daughter's attempt, conscious or not, of stitching me up.

It was like my heart had climbed into my throat and then decided that it had a BURNING NEED to get out of my body.

Damn kids.

_______________________


And then I remembered that time that Mr and Mrs C went out for a romantic drink right before the kids got back from ski camp, and how difficult a time we had in finding a big enough parking space in Paris for the new car and how we skimmied into a painfully snug parking spot, jiggling the car in front of us and the one behind.

I wonder if that's when he scratched the stupid car.

_______________________


Next time he lends me his stupid car, I'm so totally making him do a rental agency walk around for the damn vehicle.

Bother.



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Monday, March 09, 2009

New Work Monday #6

Look at me, getting all fancy and making it to NWM#6:

Red Skies
Acrylic on Gallery canvas
30cm x 30 cm x 4cm




And a detail:


I was going to go on and do some more spirals, but the background was so nice that I just couldn't bear to cover it up. It reminded me of the title of the book "Red Seas under Red Skies" by Scott Lynch (who I would gladly stalk but dude lives with larcenic milk cows in the States or something).

But I digress! This lovely little background also reminded me of when I went to Italy to do a mosaic class and the teacher told us that the background makes the foreground. If the background is poorly executed, it doesn't matter what's in front of it, the piece of work will look shoddy.

So there you go. Backgrounds are as important, if not more than the foreground.

You're welcome.



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Thursday, March 05, 2009

Random Things You Will Find Seven

Magic tagged me for a meme in... ahem.... November. And I always meant to do the 7 random things as promised, but didn't get around to it because I'm a walking zombie most days and 7 random things? Tough. I just wish that I could be as eloquent and as irreverent about the whole 'I'm an expat zombie making a living on continental Europe' deal-ee-oh as Belgian Waffling. Somehow she manages to make her life exotic and appealing.

I really wonder how she does that. I've been to Brussels once. I'm not keen on subjecting myself to that town ever again. Unless I'm wooed with chocolates or some other deadly Belgian delight. There must be some, right?

So anyway, 7 things:

1. ....

[Um. Working with a weird one temple headache here. Did I drink too much coffee again or something? Gads. I wonder if I have any headache meds in my purse?]

[Rummage.]

[Dammit. No. Get quiet in my brain. Think! I can do this!]

... I graduated from high school in 1992. I still wear my class ring. Whenever an American expat sees it, they coo. It's quite the phenomenon that I don't quite understand. Actually, I don't understand why I still wear the damn ring. I wasn't that fond of high school. I spent Grade 12 with practically no friends at all as I seem to remember being frozen out of the clique I hung out with. Not the most popular clique but still, I belonged somewhere and then suddenly I didn't.

Actually, I don't know why I even bought the ring. I must have been deluded into thinking that I would care later. I don't really. It appears to me, that my 17 year old self was mislead. That makes me sort of annoyed and indignant. There's a law against misleading 17 year olds, right? What court do I need to seize? And is seize even the right word in English? Damn.

[Score! Go me! One down, 6 to go... Ouch: my head!]

[...]

[...]

2. I made a personal knitting discovery that shall revolutionise the art. Indeed. After years and years, whenever I made a little blooper in rows that were underneath the row that I was currently working on, I would pull out the needles, rip that sucker down to the offending row, rethread the needles back through the work cursing each time there was a dropped stitch and then, finally, start again.

NO MORE!

Now I work my way to the knitted loop stacked ABOVE the offending miss-stitch, and simply undo the loops in that stack! Genius! With a crochet hook, I reloop accordingly. Less fuss, less bother, less time lost. If the offence includes a cable, I undo the whole cable and then reknit only the cable using double headed needles (usually used for cables or socks) being careful to use the right lengths of yarn for the appropriate rows.

What? You already do this? Shut up.

3. ...

[Hmm. The sun reflecting off the Haussmanian buildings are not helping my headache, but Oh My God The Hell. Sunshine. Bliss!]

... After years and years of searching (well... not really. I wasn't searching maniacally), I finally found a perfume that I really like. I'm ashamed to say that Nicole Kidman is the spokeswoman for it, but despite this flaw, I still really love my little perfume. I wear it to work every day without fail. It hides the smell of distress at being asked to do something via email for someone else but not being told everything that needs knowing before the epic fail. Because you know that you can never. ever. get that stupid email back. Fun.

However... this was about perfume. So yes, if you live in Paris and are flying home for a visit, I've got a duty free request for you. Thanks Bloomer!

4. ...

... Do you remember the TV show In Living Color? The only reason I bring it up now is because of creepy Fire Marshal Bill. I had forgotten all about that show until a colleague attended an in-house seminar on fire safety. I jokingly said to another colleague of mine (also a Canadian) that we should call him Fire Marshal Bill from now on. So, because we are totally mature like that, we made the sign below and attached it to his computer:


He was so pleased with our attentions that he put the sign on his wall with all the other assorted crap people tend to tack up in their work spaces that they never remember to actually look at, but if you don't have at least one picture of your kids up there, you're so totally a loser that it isn't even funny. Yes, we used company resources, but we made someone happy. So we were actually participating in the cohesion of the team.

You buying any of this?

Right.

5. ... Back in November, right around the time when I should have been responding to this meme, I went ahead and did something foolish. I bought a gym membership. And since then I've been to about a dozen classes or used the weight room, but really, my participation in my health is pretty much pathetic. That shining day when I handed over the check and someone handed me my gym pass was yet another moment when I was deluded into thinking that I could do it all. Work (and the means of getting to and fro), effective parenting, make art, all those bothersome sex kitten duties are already carving me dry but working out on top of that? Ha ha ha ha ha. There must be some kind of higher court for this idealistic stupidity too.

6. We are 2009 and I swear to god, we do not have ADSL at home. Whenever I mention it to Mr C, he mumbles blackness about the time-wasters, email, facebook, twitter, etc, that I probably would want to sign up for (though I'm already signed up). I assume he's assuming that I would shirk household duties in favour of staring glassy-eyed at a computer screen, but I still can't figure what duties I don't shirk already that the internet would make worse.

Do you realise that it is getting harder and harder to do anything anymore without internet? You need a phone number? Internet. You want to reserve a train ticket? Internet. You want your bank statements? Internet. What if I want to pick up some cyber work? It's unthinkable at the moment. Certain sites are impossible to even look up on dial-up because of streaming and flashy graphics. This society of ours is morphing and we'll be the last on the bus. I wonder if Mr C is the only man on the planet who thinks that the internet is "just a fad".

Also? Facebook? Twitter? OMG! I don't have access to these things at work and probably for good reason.

7. This morning I looked at my garden and my back started hurting. When we were in the apartment, I kept lamenting the fact that we didn't have a garden. Now I have a garden and I sort of rue my words. Don't get me wrong, I love living in a house. I love having a backyard where we can chill out, soak up the sun, eat too much grilled barbeque meat and all the rest of it.

However, having a backyard has its price. It means being responsible for backyard hygiene. And right now, our backyard is as hygienic as certain water closets in rural France's many run down cafés. Where you feel lucky if you don't have to leave the establishment, go through a courtyard, into a little shack that bears a striking resemblance to an outhouse, only to find yourself horrified of getting within a metre of a much abused, rarely cleaned, turkish toilet. Even worse if you're a girl, since girls have to be more creative with these toilets and the floors look slippery.

So yes. My garden needs a good scrubbing. Or shrubbing. Whatever.

Well that was fun. So fun, I'm going to spread the love.

Ashley
Poppy
Megan
Weirdgirl
Shutterbitch
Gabrielle

And if she's up for it: Miss Chris

BTW: My headache went away. Thanks Magic! That worked like... um.... magic.



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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

If this is Love...

Mrs C is sleeping profoundly.

And then....

She is suddenly dragged out of her somnalence by the heavy slap of Mr C's arm hitting her chest.

She refuses to open her eyes. Perhaps if she ignores him, he will go away or at the very least, go back to sleep. Not willing to wake up yet, she shifts her body away from his side of the bed.

BOOM! He turns again. This time his tentacle like arms reach forward and drag her towards him.

She feels as though she is being dragged down into an abyss by a monster! She resists!

"No." She mutters.

"No?"

"Zzzzzzz..."

Silence. Her eyes are still closed, she drifts into the bottomless shadowy half light of the bedroom. The house is silent.

Suddenly she feels contact against her skin and the cold trace left by saliva as Mr C rakes his tongue across her cheek.

"For fuck's sake. Leave me alone."

But she says it without conviction. Her body feels as though it is grappling with evil, but her mind is simply disbelieving the unbelievable.

However Mr C's ardor has just begun. He grabs her head in a vice and starts licking with intent to kill.

Mrs C feels confusion and mistakes her one assailant for many:

"Arrghh! Cassez-vous, cassez... casses-toi, casses-toi!" Get lost! get lost!...

But it is nothing. Mr C raises himself up on his elbows, pins Mrs C in a monstrous bearhug, takes her nose in his mouth and blows with all his force.

Fecker! Mrs C finds herself having a coughing fit, cursing. A pity she cannot curse the descendants of his loins. That hardly seems fair but since she had borne them...

Chuckling, Mr C throws all the covers off the bed into a puddle on the floor, leaps forth in glee and wanders downstairs to make coffee.

Mrs C isn't sure, but she thinks that he wiggled his willy in her general direction on the way out the door.

_______________________________


And he wonders why I'm grumpy in the morning.



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Monday, March 02, 2009

New Work Monday #5



Femme Fatale à la Klimt
Acrylic on Paper
50cm x 70cm



OK. OK. Technically not "new work" since I painted this about four years ago during a little painting class that I was taking in the town that I was living in at the time.

That was the class where the teacher told me at the end of the year that I needn't bother coming back the next year since she had nothing she could teach me.

Um. OK.

I'm thinking that's a compliment veiled in French Frankness.

Though I did do one painting that she really didn't like. I was surprised when she told me that I should have consulted her first before doing it.

Um. Wot? Am I 15 years old or something? For one thing, it was a study (I was teaching myself oils)! And for another, conceited much?

Which is probably why she basically told me not to come back. I must have done or said something that irked her. I used to have that effect on people. Ahem.

Which was a shame because at the time, our apartment started to feel really small everytime I got my paints out. I hadn't been taking the class to learn anything, but to get away from a husband and two children under the age of five ONE evening a week.

So anyway, this "new work" has never been posted on the internet and I'm totally cheating and putting it up here today because the little illo that I was working on this weekend ended up suffering from TMAC (Too Much Artistic Consideration) and died a slow and painful death of yuck.

Knowing when to fold your cards and walk away totally applies to art too.

But whatever! I rather like the above painting despite the fact that for some strange reason I painted it on cheap newsprinty paper! Why I did that, I'll never fathom.



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