The Truth About the Marriage Bed
Safely ensconced in their bed, Mr and Mrs C were each on their respective sides however, one of them was decidedly closer to the middle.
And that person had hairy elbows. Sharp hair elbows.
Now, seeing as if you were to compare Mr C to a machine, he would be one of those tarmack roller thingies and the fact that Mrs C refuses to be rolled over and speaks her mind, this is the exchange that happened:
Mrs C: "For the LOVE OF GOD! Could you please MOVE OVER? You're hogging the bed!"
Mr C: "But darling.... I just want to be closer to you......."
...
Fuck. I never win.
7 COMMENT(s):
i am afraid i'm guilty of sleeping right beside my MrC, i the middle of the bed. But the worst things is, in my sleep I roll away t my side, and take the duvet with me. Then he gets cold and wakes up. He calls me the duvet thief.
What you and I both need is a mattress that will take care of the problem for us. It needs to be lumpy and uncomfortable only in the middle, the dividng line between the two sides. It needs to have little sharp bits that itch and aren't comfortable to lay on, like cracker crumbs in the bed. It needs to be controlled by a button that can turn it on and off so that when we're in the mood for a little action, it goes away. And it needs to be completely secret.
Get on that, would ya?
SSG: Ha! My Mr C does the same thing you do! In the winter I have my own duvet!
Shutterbitch: You really must patent this idea. It's sheer gold.
You need to have an slight electric shock if he rolls over onto your side!
I'm willing to put up with his sharp elbows but only if he shares his warm feet.
bigger bed?
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