Conversational French
A couple of colleagues and I decided to go out on a limb and have lunch together last week.
At one point, we started nattering on about our children and I told the "Ca ne m'intéresse pas, les trucs sexuels" story.
I thought that story was pretty good. However my colleague? She one-upped me. Here's her story:
"We were about to have a room painted and so while pulling all of the furniture away from the wall, I thought it would be a good idea to vacuum up behind a dresser."
"I was putting an extention onto the vacuum hose," with her two hands, she made two rings with her thumb and her index finger, she held them together and then drew them apart, thus illustrating an imaginary shaft, "when my son wandered into the room."
"What's that?" he asked.
"It's a suceur (a nozzle but the literal translation is something that sucks)."
"Ah bon?" he asked. "Un suceur des bites?"
...
The table next to us nearly got up and left.
Can't say as I blame them.
We were on the floor gasping for air.
9 COMMENT(s):
I think I would have washed his mouth out with soap. How old is he?
on a side note ... is 'bites' really vulgar? or is it slang for ... ahem? (looking for helpful hints... lol)
and sounds like a typical boy to me...
That's a co-worker to keep.
I was wondering his age as well, wow I would have fallen on the floor if my kid said that hahah
At the risk of frustrating you all, I'm afraid that's nothing compared to a joke my elder daughter (just turned 7) was overheard telling my younger daughter (5 next April)... It's a joke she picked up in the playground of her very nice, private, Catholic school... a playground she shares only with kids in her year (7-8 year olds) and the year below (6-7, then). I'm afraid I can't put it here as it only really works in French, but believe me, it's pretty shocking (though hilarious given the context - unless you're easily shocked, of course, which I'm not) and makes we wonder what my younger daughter will do - will she, in turn, spread it around the playground of the kindergarteners?
Blows my mind (if you pardon the expression)!
PS I'm willing to tell the joke (in all its vague yet graphic glory) to anyone who speaks French!
Magic, with an entrance like that, I'm begging you to email that story to me. Prettyplease?
And I forgot to mention. My colleague's little boy is 8-years old.
And yeah: bite (pronounced beet) in French is pretty vulgar. I wouldn't be using it in conversations with little old ladies, that's for dang sure...
bite: Thanks, shall add that to my list of words to offend old ladies (with):-)
Adds new spice to the insult "bite me"
bwa ha ha.
Michelle: Naughty girl!
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